True Blue

In the company of the Lord

An Australian, an Irishman and an Englishman were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before, when suddenly the Irishman cried out, “My God, I know who that man is. It’s Jesus!”
The others looked again and, sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table. The Irishman call out, “Hey! Hey, you! Are you Jesus?”
The man looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head.”Yes, I am Jesus” he says.
The Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him “I’d like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me.” So the bartender pours Jesus a Guinness and takes it over to his table. Jesus looks over, raises his glass, smiles thank you and drinks.
The Englishman then calls out, “Er, excuse me Sir, but are you Jesus?” Jesus smiles and says, “Yes, I am Jesus.” The Englishman beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the men.
Then the Australian calls out, “Oi, you! D’ya reckon you’re Jesus, or what?”Jesus nods and says, “Yes, I am Jesus.” The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a pot of VB for Jesus, which he accepts with pleasure.
Some time later, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches the three men. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement. “Oh God, the arthritis is gone,” he says. The arthritis I’ve had for years is gone. It’s a miracle!”
Jesus then shakes the hand of the Englishman, thanking him for the Newcastle Brown Ale. Upon letting go, the Englishman’s eyes widen in shock.”By Jove,” he exclaims, “The migraine I’ve had for over 40 years is completely gone. It’s a Miracle!”
Jesus then approaches the Australian, who has a terrified look on his face.
“Back off, mate. I’m on compo”.

The Cabbie & his Passenger

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, “Perfect timing. You’re just like “Brian!

Passenger: “Who?”

Cabbie: “Brian Sullivan. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time.”

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

Cabbie: “Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”

Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right.”

Passenger: “Wow. Some guy then.”

Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan.”

Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”

Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I’m married to his widow.”